The Lack of Self-Love: Understanding and Overcoming Low Self-Esteem

insecurity low self-esteem negative self-talk self-criticsm self-doubt self-hatred self-isolation self-neglect self-sabotage self-worth issues Feb 17, 2023

Self-love is the foundation of a fulfilling and joyful life. It is the acceptance and appreciation of oneself, and it allows us to show up fully in our lives and relationships. However, many individuals struggle with low self-love and low self-esteem, which can hinder their ability to live their best lives. You can view "11 Signs That You Don't Love Yourself Enough, And How To Change That." In this article, I will explore what low self-esteem is, its common causes, how to recognise it, and how to shift towards self-love.


"Love yourself first, and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world." - Lucille Ball


What is Low Self-Esteem?


Low self-esteem is the feeling of inadequacy and a lack of self-worth. It is a negative self-image that can lead to self-doubt, self-criticism, and self-sabotage. Low self-esteem can stem from various sources, including childhood experiences, negative self-beliefs, and societal pressures.


What Causes Low Self-Esteem?


Low self-esteem can be caused by various factors, including childhood experiences, trauma, abuse, negative self-beliefs, and societal pressures. For instance, growing up in an environment where one feels neglected, criticised, or unloved can result in low self-esteem. Traumatic experiences such as abuse, rejection, or bullying can also contribute to low self-esteem. Furthermore, societal pressures such as unrealistic beauty standards, social media, and comparison can lead to negative self-beliefs, leading to low self-esteem.




How to Recognise Low Self-Esteem?


Low self-esteem can manifest in various ways, such as self-doubt, negative self-talk, and self-sabotage. Self-doubt might show up with poor quality questions to self such as "Why am I so stupid?" "What's wrong with me?" "Why can't I be more like [someone else]?" It may show up with statements of negative self-talk such as, "I'm not good enough." "I always mess things up." "Nobody likes me." 


In terms of relationships, it can manifest as people-pleasing, codependency, and low self-worth. In health, it can manifest as self-neglect, substance abuse, and eating disorders. In career and finances, it can manifest as procrastination, fear of success, and self-doubt. It may even manifest as settling for less than you deserve in various areas of life, such as relationships, career, or personal goals. Effected by low self-esteem you may believe you are not good enough or unworthy of success, and as a result, you may self-sabotage by not pursuing your full potential.


It is essential to recognise these patterns and understand their root causes to overcome low self-esteem.


Shifting from Low Self-Esteem to Self-Love


Shifting from low self-esteem to self-love requires a conscious effort to rewire negative self-beliefs, thoughts, and attitudes. Here are some practical steps to help shift towards self-love:


  1. Practice self-compassion: Treat yourself with kindness, gentleness, and patience. Be your own best friend.
  2. Challenge negative self-talk: Replace negative self-talk with positive affirmations and self-encouragement.
  3. Identify and challenge negative self-beliefs: Understand where negative self-beliefs come from and challenge them with positive affirmations and counterexamples.
  4. Seek support: Seek the support of a trusted friend, family member, therapist or trusted coach who can offer a safe and non-judgmental space for you to express your feelings.
  5. Engage in self-care activities: Practice self-care activities such as meditation, yoga, or hobbies that bring you joy and relaxation.


Why The Butterfly - The Global Butterfly?

The Butterfly is a metaphor for the transformation that occurs when one shifts from low self-esteem to self-love. The Butterfly goes through a metamorphosis, transforming from a caterpillar to a beautiful butterfly. In the same way, one can transform from low self-esteem to self-love by shedding old negative beliefs and behaviours and embracing a new positive outlook and self-love.

My own personal transformation story is a series of transformations over-coming limiting beliefs about loving myself, and feeling good enough to shine my light in the world. Growing up I constantly sought approval, was challenged with trying to be ‘perfect’ to finally be ‘enough,’ and was your classic over-ambitious super high-achiever but was attracting narcissistic abusive partners. I created great success in many areas of my life especially in my health and body, career and later in my business, as well as financially. But I also experienced a lot of pain with over-giving in relationships, poor boundaries and not including my own needs, let alone prioritising them. It wasn’t until I began challenging and letting go of the limiting beliefs and negative-self talk and shifted instead to self-compassion, forgiveness of self and others and moved deeply into self-love that I truly transformed EVERY area of my life and now live with an abundance of joy and peace, while also being prosperous doing what I absolutely LOVE —— helping others to also design their life, live their dreams FROM THE INSIDE OUT, WITH LOVE. 


Final Note of Encouragement


If you struggle with low self-esteem, know that you are not alone, and it is possible to overcome it. You have the power to transform your life by practicing self-love and self-acceptance. Remember that self-love is not selfish; it is essential for your well-being and happiness. Believe in yourself, be kind to yourself, and don't give up on your dreams. With determination and self-love, you can achieve anything you set your mind to.


Want some guided help to shift into loving yourself more and feel the benefits of joy, peace, love and success in all areas of your life?

Join our FREE 7-Day “Self Love Is How You Manifest!” Challenge.
You will be guided step-by-step how to self-love your way to manifesting success in a personalised and magical way for you!