When Empaths Get Caught in the Web: The Hidden Danger of Vulnerable Narcissists in Disguise
By Katie Joy | The Global Butterfly
There’s a pattern I’ve seen far too many times — in my clients, in my own journey, and in the spiritual business world:
A deeply sensitive empath with a radiant heart gets tangled in the web of someone who appears empathic… but isn’t.
Instead, they’ve unknowingly become entangled with a vulnerable narcissist — someone whose behaviours slowly erode their energy, distort their self-trust, and sabotage their growth.
And here’s the twist: these narcissists don’t scream arrogance or dominance. They whisper victimhood. They wear spiritual language like a cloak. And they often show up looking like wounded birds begging to be saved — or soulmates who just “need a little help.”
Let’s talk about it.
What Is a Vulnerable Narcissist?
Unlike their overt, grandiose counterparts, vulnerable narcissists are covert in their approach. They appear emotionally needy, deeply self-deprecating, and often disguise their manipulation as sensitivity.
They don’t demand the spotlight — they sulk in the shadows waiting for you to offer it to them.
They may cry more than they rage. But the emotional toll they take can be just as destructive.
Their favourite disguise? Spirituality. Healing. Empathy. Coaching. Service.
Sound familiar?
Why True Empaths Get Caught
If you’re a genuine empath — especially one devoted to growth, transformation, and being of service — these dynamics can be dangerously seductive.
Here’s why:
• You’re wired to help. You feel the pain of others so deeply that their suffering feels like a call to action.
• You sense their wounds — and want to help them heal.
• They mirror your language — speaking of energy, intuition, inner child healing, and transformation, but without actually doing the work.
• They trauma bond quickly — creating a false sense of intimacy that feels like fate but is actually co-dependence.
Before long, you’re not in a soul partnership — you’re in a spiritual hostage situation.
What It Looks Like in Real Life & Business
Over the years, I’ve witnessed this play out in subtle — and not-so-subtle — ways:
• A client couldn’t launch her business because a “soul friend” constantly leaned on her emotional labour, keeping her energetically drained.
• A once-aligned collaboration soured when a partner began using shared language and strategies but withheld transparency and began undermining her.
• I’ve even had to release women from my programs who appeared loving, intuitive, and ‘all in,’ but were quietly manipulating other clients behind the scenes — draining trust, energy, and group momentum.
In each of these cases, the vulnerable narcissist:
• Delayed growth
• Distorted clarity
• Diminished self-worth
• Damaged reputations
… all while playing the victim.
And if you’ve ever experienced this, you know how confusing it is. You question yourself, not them. That’s part of the game.
Energetically? They Cost You Everything.
Your frequency is your currency.
When you entangle with someone who’s constantly pulling from your field, you lose your clarity, your power, and your peace.
You start second-guessing your offers, your intuition, your ability to serve.
You shrink.
And that’s exactly what they need to keep feeling safe: you dimming your light so they don’t feel eclipsed.
But this is where we say: no more.
How To Spot a Vulnerable Narcissist in Disguise
Here’s what to watch for:
• They lead with pain, not power. They always have a crisis and always need you to fix it.
• They love-bomb, then guilt-trip. One day you’re their inspiration, the next you’ve abandoned them if you say no.
• They copy your words and wisdom, but claim it as their own or twist it subtly.
• They use spirituality as a mask, but rarely take full responsibility for their patterns.
• They don’t rise with you — they resist, compete, or complain.
How to Protect Yourself (and Still Stay Open-Hearted)
You don’t need to harden your heart. You just need to strengthen your discernment.
1. Watch the energy exchange. Do you feel energised after being with them… or drained?
2. Check the calibration. Are they taking radical responsibility for their healing — or outsourcing it to you?
3. Don’t override your gut. If something feels off, it probably is. Trust your frequency.
4. Set clean, clear boundaries. And honour them, even when it’s uncomfortable.
5. Walk away sooner. You don’t need more evidence. You need more alignment.
Ready to Reclaim Your Energy and Centre Yourself Again?
When you’ve been entangled with a vulnerable narcissist, the first thing to restore is your own heart field.
That’s why I created the Heart Activation Meditation — a powerful 29-minute guided experience to help you reconnect with your centre, clear anxiety and overwhelm, and return to the frequency of love and sovereignty.
Get your free copy now:
[Heart Activation MEDITATION MP3 Download]
Finally, a way to ditch overwhelm, anxiety and fear! Clear it all instantly with this guided meditation. Discover how to activate your energy so you can balance, align and create new opportunities to empower your life.
It’s an easy guided meditation to quickly get out of your head and drop into your heart — so you can relax in peace, with love, ready to create new possibilities from your highest vibration.
Final Word: You’re Not Wrong For Loving Deeply… But Not Everyone Deserves Access
If you’ve ever found yourself entangled in one of these dynamics, please know:
You didn’t fail. You were being shown your own threshold. Your own worth. And your next level of self-leadership.
You don’t have to become jaded. You just need to become clear.
You’re here to awaken, to lead, and to rise — with love, yes. But also with wisdom.
The truth is: not everyone who speaks the language of light is walking in it.
And your soul knows the difference.
With love, power and discernment,
Katie Joy
The Global Butterfly
